So many things are flying through my head right now. I am trying to think of what to blog about. There is soooo much going on! This April is probably the craziest month of all time. There are at least 5 huge things going on at work simultaneously that I have my feet dipped into that will no doubt be putting me in overtime these next couple of weeks. I wrecked my car, then bought a new one all within 4 days. I fractured my elbow and while I am happily out of my splint, I am still healing and have my follow up appointment on the 30th. My new car payment has inspired me to look into consolidating my college loans, which I am going to apply for as soon as I get some spare time in my day. I am still trying to hold on to getting some household goals accomplished before this month is over in spite of my elbow setback. I’m hoping to paint my kitchen so that when our new patio glass sliding door is installed in May, it will give the space a brand new face lift!
I find myself wishing April away and looking forward to May. I instantly feel guilty afterwards and remind myself to embrace the moments, no matter how chaotic they are. I’m sure May will be just as crazy in its own way. It will be right before June which is a very busy time for me at work, I have two weddings to attend to and a trip to Atlanta with the family. I am so lucky to be feeding myself whole foods that give my mind stability during crazy times like these.
In spite of eating whole foods, I still had another nut-case fiasco two days ago, where I decided to finish a bag full of sea salted almonds with a spoonful of sunflower seed butter. Luckily, it wasn’t as bad as that other time I ate too many nuts. No doubt the urges to binge eat on something fat-dense was from little everyday inklings of stress growing on me. I can actually feel the anxiousness right now as I type. My husband is pacing back and forth in the kitchen while watching Jeopardy and it is making me so damn uneasy. That sounds so ridiculous, but it is true! And you know what? I really want to eat some fat-filled coconut butter and nuts.
That would just be a temporary distraction though. I am going to instead choose to stop typing, put my laptop away, and leave the room for some me time. Maybe run a bath? Ciao!
So, I have been nut-free for almost 48 hours and all I have been craving is fat! I want avocados in all my meals and I can’t stop thinking about a thick juicy steak with bacon and avocado slathered onto it. I should do something about this! Last night I finished my jar of coconut butter. It was fattily decadent and perfectly did the trick. I wonder if it it’s my body’s strategy to bounce back from my nutastrophe. Anyway, it is good to know there are other ways that my cravings approve of to get my fat into my meals.
Aside from the intense cravings there has been a complete lack of energy I’ve had all week. It’s kind of like a paleofied version of the carb flu one gets when first starting Whole30. Except mine is a nut flu. I inhaled a lot of cashews, pistachios, pecans, and almonds….so it would be no surprise to me if my body was having to take its sweet time figuring out what the hell to do with all of the nuts I consumed. Anyway, today was a bit better with the energy stores. I was able to get a nice 25 minute full body workout in (thanks Shaun T) and do some very light yoga stretching for an hour. After dinner tonight I also chopped up some of our old couch in the backyard….for real.
It was my husband’s bright idea to keep our old couch in the backyard once we bought our new couch. It was broken, so we couldn’t sell it and we didn’t want to dump it or pay to have the landfill take it….so, after a few months of it being back there I kind of forgot about it…..until I remembered. I asked my mom and dad to borrow their ax before the film crew of Hoarders came knocking on my door. Surprisingly though, I have really enjoyed swinging an ax! I kind of feel like I am getting a free Cross Fit workout in. Plus, it is so fun and kind of addicting….now I need to watch Lifetime’s Lizzie Borden Took an Ax.
Hopefully the couch will be gone in a week or so and my nut flu symptoms with it! I will happily keep my steak with a side of avocado and bacon though.
I don’t know what has happened but the past few days have been a nut fest. I never thought I had an issue with nuts. I have enjoyed sprinkling them onto dishes for added fat and texture. If I ever eat them by themselves, I use the Emerald Mixed Nuts snack sizes that are already prepackaged to make sure I don’t overindulge. However, lately, I have been going nuts…quite literally! I have been eating pecans, almonds, pistachios, and cashews by the bagful. NOT good…Not even nut good…. After browsing the Whole30 Forum, I take solace in the fact that at least I am not the only one with this problem. But, I don’t want to ignore my history with disordered eating; so, I am going to eliminate nuts for a while.
This hopefully won’t be a problem since I’ve already consumed all the nuts in the house with the exception of my husband’s roasted peanuts. At least I didn’t eat anything off track. I thought about just eating something sweet which is what I was really craving, but the nuts at least kept me from straying too far off path. It could have been worse. So, I will chalk up this nutastrophe as a learning lesson…not to go nuts about nuts.
In other news, I have been Whole30 compliant for over 2 weeks now (with the exception of the nuttiness). I didn’t really intend to do it, but it just kind of happened, so I am going to milk it! I am going to aim for a Whole45 and add 3 more days on the end of it to make up for my 3 nights of nuts. That should hopefully kick my sugar/nut/wheat/ dragon in the ass. Here’s to a Whole45 that includes a nut-free Whole30!